I’m just so hurt by the fact I am treated so poorly by professionals. Especially the ones I’m paying. I cannot make it stop, and I do not know how to unless I am mute. I already was situationally mute for quite some time during my youngest years. It didn’t work. I already caused scenes. It didn’t work.

But to have a literal expert that you’re paying tell you to “memorize the answers” or “do what everyone else is doing and find friends to study with” in order to improve your grade is so humilating. I feel like I don’t have a choice at this point other than to continue doing whatever it even is that I am doing to be perceived like I am so incredibly unintelligent.

It goes back to the same question.

Why do you feel the need to treat me so poorly?

Like I’m actually struggling to understand how I am “being a know it all” while simultaneously having “answers that have nothing to do with the questions”.

Do people just not think I’m capable of feeling emotions?

Because I am so emotional it is disruptive to my daily life.

So the disconnect just fucking hurts.

Think before you respond to someone coming to you for help.

Oh, or just think about how you’d talk to a disabled child in the same situation.

I don’t know.

It’s hard.