I have seen so many amazing posts regarding anxiety around holidays for those with eating disorders. All I have to say is that I am extremely thankful for IIFYM for allowing me to think differently about ALL food, not just “healthy” food. 

For the first time I can even remember from as far back as third grade, I was not dreading thanksgiving dinner. I was not restricting or fearful of binging. I was simply listening to my body. Yes, I may have had an extra piece of pie and seconds on mashed potatoes. I will not lie, I do feel guilty. However, I recognize that my thoughts are disordered- I have an eating disorder. I say it often, but it has really only registered on like four occasions lol. It has become so normal for me that I do not second guess guilt, restriction, self-starvation, purging, over exercising, and a controlling voice in my head that is so focused on numbers and looks and comparison… Until recently. I have come to the conclusion that I am ready to move on. 

There is a time and place for struggling, but it is not healthy for that time to literally be YEARS of your life… I don’t remember a time in my life where I was not engaging in an ED behavior.. Like ever. THAT is ridiculous, truly. 

I would say I am most thankful for a mindset that is not stuck completely in my old thought process. Fitness and health have truly positively impacted my life. I am grateful for my ability to actively participate at the gym. I am thankful to live in an area where gyms are located. I am thankful I have the finances to go. I am thankful my life has worked out the way it has. I am thankful it has not worked out the way I used to pray so whole heartedly it would. God is gewddddd. #rambleovaandout #myb #srynotsry 

 me before I actually devoured some potatoes and my entire fam. Ya they’re long freaking gone