I Eat ERRRRYTHANGGG

Hello bishes. It’s been more than a week… SUE ME. I’ve been extremely busy as per usual, so there really is no excuse. But I am realllllly fired up about this topic of diets. I will try to control myself but um💁🏼. 

First of all, I am honestly BAFFLED as to how it is now more common to be vegan or vegetarian or paleo or gluten free or whatever the heck it may be than to just be. In my house alone, I have vegan, a vegetarian, and someone who is weird about sugar. No, none of these things are bad per say. Actually, I was vegan for four months and vegetarian for 2&1/2 years until the day I started prepping for my first competition. But, these diets are restricting. Very restricting. If you are recovering from any sort of restrictive ED, then you don’t need to be following them until you are mentally recovered. After that, do whatever the heck you want with your intake as long as you aren’t using these diets to restrict. 

For me, being vegan was easy. It allowed me to be in control and whatever. Same with vegetarianism. It just allows you to restrict certain food groups with no questions asked. No one concerns themselves with why you aren’t eating specific foods because it is the new normal to do so. I don’t even know why. This is very harmful because it is comfortable to stay within this diet, thus you are staying comfortable in restriction. You will make little to no mental progress. You’ll be mentally confined. The day I started prepping for my first competition is the day i made a lot of progress because I was forced to eat meat and a high fat macro split, both groups I used to avoid. Now I cannot imagine a day without minimum 4 TBLS of peanut butter and chicken with hot sauce. 

Basically, restricting certain foods or food groups and justifying it with veganism or paleo eating or whatever is not normal or healthy. Sorry. It isn’t. Although society now views all these types of diets as normal, know that you don’t have to follow them. Everyone is different and everyone’s backgrounds are different. I would never encourage anyone who has any sort of restrictive behaviors to jump on any of these diet band wagons. No food should ever be viewed as bad or off limits. Life is too short to ban carbs or fats or proteins or eggs or meat or cake. Live fully and just be an everything eater in moderation. Healthy is a relative term and no one knows your body and mindset better than you. K BYEEEE
My cabinet of fats above. 

Some icecream I had for breakfast above. 

I love all food groups and will never restrict any foods ever again lol🍦🍕💕🤘🏽🤑

Totes Good Advice!!!!

Okay, well I am sitting in my school’s auditorium for the next hour waiting for everyone to finish their finals because I finished mine a tad early lol (hopefully a good thing😜). I thought, Me, what the heck you might as well write a post now while you have this chunk of time. 
I am going to touch on the importance of who you are following on social media and how who I follow and used to follow have impacted my own recovery K BISHEZ. 
Over the past year and even few weeks, I’ve really come to monitor who I am following. THIS IS VERY CRUCIAL. I really suggest following people who have already reached your goals, who are smarter than you, who are where you want to be. This is because you will not grow if you are surrounding your thoughts and mind with images and texts from people who don’t challenge you. The saying goes, “If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room”. You need to apply that to social media. 
For example, if you’re trying to gain weight to reach weight restoration in recovery, you do NOT need to be following extremely underweight girls or boys. Like HELLLLLOOOOO. Why would you purposely cloud your mind with images of people who are going to hold you back? Follow people who are healthy weights and have healthy eating and exercising patterns.  
If you are a healthy weight DONT FREAKING FOLLOW girls and guys that are always posting about how they want to lose weight or are extremely large. Follow people who are comfortable in their own skin. You need to focus on your recovery, because without recovery you’ll be stuck with your eating disorder forever. NOT FUNNNN. One, five, ten, twenty years down the road do you want to be hospitalized thinking man I really should have given it my all back then. I’ve wasted MY WHOLE LIFE living with an eating disorder. Didn’t think so BISHEzz. 
Recently, I’ve had to unfollow some people that I consider to be friends with on social media. Was this hard? DUH BISHES. But it had to be done. I am not trying to hold onto my past. I needed to suck it up, face the challenge, and continue on with my recovery. Eating disorders are NOT a choice by ANY means, but recovery IS. YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE FREE MENTALLY. It is true. 
By unfollowing certain people and following others, it has helped me realize life is more than being underweight and miserable. It is more than only eating clean food every single meal ever. It is more than exercising every hour of every day. These things do not and will not fulfill you. I really encourage you to evaluate who you’re following and how following them makes you feel and adjust the list accordingly. IT CAN CHANGE YOOOOOO LIFE💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿. 

I’m Back Bishez

Ello mates (Yes, I’m Australian now)! It has literally been half a year. How the time flies when you are easily distracted. Recently, I have been receiving a lot of DMs and messages on Instagram regarding recovery, weight gain, etc. Probably because I am so popular and cool lolz. I have come to the realization that I could simply make blog posts about this ish, so my thoughts are a lot clearer and direct when I respond and not thrown together with horrific grammar.

First of all, some people have been commenting on my pictures from literally over a year ago, so I have had the chance to reread my captions from when I was extremely mentally unstable (lolz). I would like to publicly apologize for a lot of what I have posted. Specifying my calories and weight to the public was very ignorant and selfish of me. Coming from years of struggling with various eating disorders, I fully understand how harmful that can be to girls and boys who end up both consciously and subconsciously comparing their intakes and weights to mine. Every single person is so incredibly different. Everyone’s set-point weights are so different. For me to just go about posting this ish for the sole purpose of other people commenting things like “OMG no you’re totally skinny” was so selfish. I am very embarrassed and ashamed because I know better than that. So I am truly sorry to anyone who read those or followed me or even knew me during this time period #imactuallysrythistime.

Moving on, I have decided to write one blog post a week about recovery and how to go about it. I am calling this series of posts “Bad Bishez Recover” because I can. Also, I am not paying another $26 to get my old domain back. I am too poor WordPress. Cry about it.

Okay bye bishezzzzz,

Me (Best gal on insta)

Protein Bars That Don’t Make You Want to Scorch Your Open Wounds in Vinegar

Everyone and his mother is OBSESSED with protein bars. Every single #fitspo has some sort of coupon code for his protein bar that he claims to be the best ever to grace the earth. Well, do I have a shock for you.

99% of these protein bars taste like I just licked the absolute bottom of Gwen Stefani’s shoe, which probably means I am licking Blake Shelton’s shoe as well. And… SURPRISE! I am actually a guest judge on The Voice.

Anyways, I had to be immediately rushed to the ER after consuming these healthy and tasty “protein” creations. Not to mention that they left me clinging onto stomach thinking I had some sort of ulcer erupting inside of me.

That is why I am here to let you know that you’re not alone in the search for the perfect protein bar. I am here. I am a shoulder to lean on during these tough times. We WILL get through this.

Here is what you should without a single doubt in your mind be looking for in a protein bar:

  1. Make sure there is actually a trace of protein in your bar. I suggest at least 10g. Honestly though, I cringe and even tear up if there is not exactly and precisely 15g in my bar MINIMUM. Otherwise, you are eating a Snickers. I for one, think Snickers are the epitome of sewage. 
  2. Make sure there is not a crap ton of sugar in your bar. We are not trying to lasso in diabetes over here. You are not in the Wild West. 
  3. Make sure there is not a raging amount of fat in your bar. The point of a protein bar is to consume protein. There is a time and place for fat consumption. 
  4. Make sure the calories aren’t unnecessarily high. This is not a meal people… It is a mother freaking protein bar!
  5. Make sure you like the taste. If you do not want to face plant into this bar at least once a day, kick that bar to the curb.

Overall, protein bars can and will leave you feeling like you just gave birth to a ton of artificial garbage. My favorite protein bars that don’t do that are power crunch bars, cliff builder bars, and pure protein caramel bars. Honestly, quest bars are really overrated and the new formula caused my spleen to absolutely explode. If you can afford those, I say what the hay! But beware you could cause some SERIOUS stomach damage. 

Let me know what your favorite protein bars are!

Pce & mother friggin blezzinz,

Me

 

Ballad to My Freakin Salad

So many people hate on salads. I think there may actually be a petition to eliminate all salad from the entire universe. I can understand why. Lettuce has pretty much no taste. If there is a taste, it is a vivid one comprising of dirt and maybe some rotten fungus. I am here to tell you this- salad does NOT have to be like this. Give it time, you will be able to change your thoughts on this seemingly pointless food creation.

First of all, you are going to want dressing. It disguises the taste of a leaf into a taste that leaves your old taste buds happy. My favorite dressing is lite Caesar dressing. It is all the fun of regular Caesar dressing with half the fat and what not. If you prefer regular dressing, that is completely fine. The more taste, the better.

The next step is choosing the dreaded freaking leaf. If you hate all salad, I would not suggest filling your bowl with kale right off the bat. I mean, it is a greener leaf, so the taste will be stronger. It will also possess more nutrients, but I say what the hay! Choose the leaf YOU want. There is more to life than how green your salad is everyone. Maybe you can work your way up to kale. Whatevs. I choose romaine lettuce because I like the crunchiness that comes along with it. By NO means is it chip crunchy. It is more of a wannabe crunch.

Finally, choose your toppings. I choose grated cheese and croutons because again, it helps with giving the old leaves some taste. There is nothing worse than biting straight into salad that has no taste. I would compare it to being burned alive… You just don’t want to have to go through that. Obviously, you then mix together the ingredients and eat it.

So all in all, this recipe is an elite one that I totally made up on my own. People call it “Caesar Salad”. Give it a whirl in your kitchen. You may actually come to love the simplicity of eating dirt infested leaves!

CAll me, beep me, if you wanna reach me,

Me

P.S.: My workouts are still great. I am still feeling the burn. I still feel pushed. Yada, yada, yada, I would not change anything.

Geez Louise!!! I am poor!

I just got an email saying that I will have to pay $26 to keep this domain :”(. I am simply CRUSHED. I mean, I bought this domain last year for many reasons. “Considering It Pure Joy” means a lot more to me than a domain name. It means overcoming an eating disorder and trusting in God among other things. Apparently, it means $26 a year to WordPress. So great. I cannot afford to cough up that kind of money (lol you would think we are talking about something expensive). 

It is true. I am poor. My secret has been released to the public. I have $2 in my bank account. This type of shiz is SHAMEFUL. But of course, I won’t deny it is entirely my fault. I spend my money on gym accessories, health food, and makeup. Definitely not necessities. KIDDING they are. 

To sum up this brief post, I would like to start the hashtag #prayfor26. It is a great hashtag and really is inspiring. Like, you should all donate 1 dollar, and the dollars will add up; I will be able to keep this domain. So consider it, and PRAY YOUR HEARTS OUT. Lol #poor #girl #on #internet 

Thanksgiving- my InCREDDD reflection 

I have seen so many amazing posts regarding anxiety around holidays for those with eating disorders. All I have to say is that I am extremely thankful for IIFYM for allowing me to think differently about ALL food, not just “healthy” food. 

For the first time I can even remember from as far back as third grade, I was not dreading thanksgiving dinner. I was not restricting or fearful of binging. I was simply listening to my body. Yes, I may have had an extra piece of pie and seconds on mashed potatoes. I will not lie, I do feel guilty. However, I recognize that my thoughts are disordered- I have an eating disorder. I say it often, but it has really only registered on like four occasions lol. It has become so normal for me that I do not second guess guilt, restriction, self-starvation, purging, over exercising, and a controlling voice in my head that is so focused on numbers and looks and comparison… Until recently. I have come to the conclusion that I am ready to move on. 

There is a time and place for struggling, but it is not healthy for that time to literally be YEARS of your life… I don’t remember a time in my life where I was not engaging in an ED behavior.. Like ever. THAT is ridiculous, truly. 

I would say I am most thankful for a mindset that is not stuck completely in my old thought process. Fitness and health have truly positively impacted my life. I am grateful for my ability to actively participate at the gym. I am thankful to live in an area where gyms are located. I am thankful I have the finances to go. I am thankful my life has worked out the way it has. I am thankful it has not worked out the way I used to pray so whole heartedly it would. God is gewddddd. #rambleovaandout #myb #srynotsry 

 me before I actually devoured some potatoes and my entire fam. Ya they’re long freaking gone 

Dankidy Do It- Breakin Habits (and Hearts)

Well, another day another dollar spent on Diet Coke is the saying I believe. Routines can be very addicting. Like heroin level type shiz. It’s almost easier to check things off a list and feel accomplished and pat yourself with a meaningless pat on the back than to “go with the flow bro dude”. 

Disclaimer- please for love of all things containing pumpkin flavoring, do not get rid of all goals you have. That is not what I’m saying. 

I am saying that spontaneity is fleeting and modeling into society is worshipped nowadays. Like not every girl wants to dye her hair blonde and get a spray tan (cough at I do both cough). But it seems like that is the only way to get approval. Is that why i do both? I do not know. It is not the time to analyze my willingness to get others’ acceptance. It is the time to introduce a change in your lifestyle. 

So whether that change be breaking a routine and introducing a new food into your diet or getting the hair color YOU want, you should do it. Why? Because you are dying. Sorry to be harsh but you are. You only have one life and you better not abuse it. 

Live. Try new things. Get out of your ruts. Be an individual. Dye your hair rainbow (gal at my school did and it looked balls to the walls amazing). Do whatever. DO NOT stay in society’s standard lane. Be UUUU people. Work that ish. (please hope this is a note to yourself lol)

Dankest blezzingz to ya,

Me

TOTALLY Amazing Core Workout

A lot of people have the misconception that you need to do a million and one core exercises to get abs. They think that if they do sit-ups every extra chance during the day they get, their abs will SOMEHOW appear later that same night. Well, all I have to say about that is you thought wrong, so please (PLEASE) do not waste your time doing these random things to try and “get abs”.

I want to start off this post by saying you CANNOT spot-target fat loss. I promise you it does not work that way. You cannot will your way into specifically losing fat from your stomach first. Sorry #imnotevensorry. You CAN exercise your abdominal muscles like you would your leg or even your arm muscles, and if you pair that with other exercises, you will see the best results. If you lower your body fat percentage, it is highly likely (but not guaranteed because every body is different in their compositions) that your abs will be visible.

So yes, my rant is over… ALMOST people. I also do not think it is healthy to be consumed by appearance or wanting abs so badly that you prioritize that want over your family and friends. There are healthy ways to achieve visible abs without going completely off the deep end. Do NOT freaking pull a Miley of the fitness world and change everything for something you cannot even see when you’re wearing clothing… which is 90% of the time (though she will always be my numero uno no matter what… pix to come of that).

A good ab workout that I like to complete on the reg only includes planks. No it is not some glamorous workout where I use all these machines and stuff (which I am not knocking those exercises; they do work). This is just a much simpler workout that you can do anywhere like on vacation, at your house, or even outside (whatever floats your boat)… kind of like Miley during her Hannah Montana days: always with wig… ready with wig for whenever AND whereeverrrrr. So freaking wig out and do this workout!!!

  • Regular plank (2 minutes)
  • Commandos (1 minute)
  • Side-step plank (2 minutes)
  • Right side plank (1 minute)
  • Left side plank (1 minute)

Repeat 4 times for optimal sweatiness!! You will be dying (or at least I always am).

I hope that I cleared a lot of nebulous ideas regarding abs. Please let me know if you enjoyed this workout if you end up trying it out and/or this post. If not, also let me know. I am open to any and all constructive criticism.

Thnks fr th Mmrs,

Me

Arm Workout YA GALZZ 

So I am sitting in LAX, and I’m thinking what better thing to do than write an arm workout?!? So here it goes-

Arm workouts are necessary. ESPECIALLY if you’re like me and hate training arms… (That probably means that you either already have good arms (not me) or have extremely weak arms that could be mistaken for a freaking pine straw twig (me). 

Because I fall into the second category, I try to build arm strength. Even though it. Sucks. A. Lot. 

A common arm workout that I do is:

  • dumbbell curl 4×10
  • Push-ups 4×10
  • Tricep dips 4×10
  • Decline push-ups 2×20
  • BOXING COMBOS 1093392829x aka until failure

I really do not enjoy working out my arms because it hurts them WAYYY too much for my personal comfort. This is because I have minimal arm strength lol. A reflection of where I am right now is that I am fine with mostly everything. My workouts are hard, but if it’s not hard/doesn’t push you outside of your comfort zone, you’re not going to grow. So by choosing the harder option of pushing myself in the gym, I’m choosing growth- both mentally and physically. 

Here is some photographic proof that I am in fact me, and I am in fact growing these ol muscles.